When you are 70...
I was standing at the bar at the local one night minding my own business.
This NON ATTRACTIVE LADY came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said, "You're kinda cute. You gotta phone number?"
I said, "Yeah, you gotta pen?"
She said, "Yeah, I got a pen".
I said, "You'd better get back to it before the farmer misses you."
Cost me 6 stitches...but,
When you're seventy...who cares?
**********
I went to the drug store and said to the clerk "Give me three packets of condoms, please."
Lady Clerk: "Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?"
I said "Nah, she's pretty good looking”
When you're seventy... who cares?
***********
I was talking to a young woman in the local last night.
She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right."
I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."
Cost me a fat lip, but...
When you're seventy....who cares?
**********
I was telling a woman in the Club about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her breasts.
"Really" she said, "Go on then try."
After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said, "Come on, what day was I born?"
I said, "Yesterday."
Cost me a kick in the nuts, but...
When you're seventy...who cares?
*********
I got caught taking a pee in the swimming pool today.
The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.
When you're seventy...............who cares?
**********
I went to my local last night and saw a BIG woman dancing on a table.
I said, "Great legs."
The woman giggled and said, "Do you really think so?"
I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."
Cost me 6 more stitches, but...
When you're seventy...who cares?
"Count your life by smiles, not tears, count your age by friends, not years, and remember.... we do not quit playing because we grow old... we grow old because we quit playing"
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