A few funnies.

[memory man]

I went in the Harry Potter Poundshop. Everything was a quid each.

I went to GP with hearing problems. She asked:"What are the symptoms?" I said: "Cartoon people on the telly."

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, but no atmosphere.

My dog can do magic tricks. It's a labracadabrador.

Rest in Peace boiling water..you will be mist!

I burnt my Hawaiian pizza last night. I should have put it on Aloha setting.

When does a joke become a Dad joke? When the punchline becomes apparent.

After escaping my captors I'm now wearing a chocolate and coconut hat...looks like I have a bounty on my head.

Went to Plastic Surgery Addicts Anonymous last night, there was a lot of new faces there which was disappointing…