a Malteser is sitting in a bar

[memory man]

There's a Malteser sitting in a bar when a Smartie walks in and sits on the stool next to him. The Malteser flinches and the Smartie says "Hey mate, calm down, I won't hurt you, what's the problem?" "I get beaten up by other sweets all the time." replies the Malteser. "Don't you worry, while I'm here, nobody will touch you" says the Smartie.

A few minutes pass and 2 Tunes walk into the bar. They spot the Malteser and advance on him
menacingly.

The Malteser turns to alert the Smartie and discovers that he has disappeared. After taking a beating and having his wallet pinched the Malteser finds the Smartie hiding under a table.

"What the flip happened there? I thought you were going to protect me!" shouts the Malteser.

The Smartie looks at him sheepishly and says "Yeah, but those tunes are totally Menthol"