Help needed, please!

[Devil]

Because of serious health issues, we need help to look after my wife and, to some extent, myself. We have lawfully and legally a Nepalese 'girl' to help us. I have a problem, however, in that I do not know exactly what she is supposed to do and what she is not supposed to do, other than the fact that she has one day off per week. Has anybody got a list of the tasks. For example, she has recently prepared three main meals, but they are all identical with boiled rice as the staple and a mix of fried up veggies to accompany it. Sorry, I could not live on this diet for weeks on end. If she is supposed to prepare our main meal, I would wish her some lessons.

Another bone of contention is that she does not seem to understand that we like our meals at regular times. With her, it can be anything plus or minus 2 hours.

It may be partly a question of language, her Greek is non-existent and her English is, to say the least, rudimentary. It does not go down well with me when she tries to order me around like a regimental sergeant major, while I am a mere squaddie! Diplomacy was never my strong subject, but she beats me hollow!

If anyone has any advice on the handling of these helping women, I would be very pleased.

[Uncle D]

Did you get her through an agency, if so contact them if not advertise for another maid and sack her,

[Lincoln]

You definitely need to replace her ASAP. The maids must speak fluent English (if you are an English employer) They must have set routines dictated to them by you.

[jeba]

Is there anyone you know - or who she knows - who could translate your wishes to her? If not, have you tried writing what you want to tell her and have her read it via https://translate.google.com/#view=home ... l=ne&tl=de?

[Cyprus Sal]

Ugh, this form of legalised slavery makes me sick. These women from poor countries generally get a raw deal here. They're exploited, over-worked and under-paid. Worst of all, no-one looks for them when they go missing. It's an aspect of life in Cyprus that makes me feel very uncomfortable. It smacks of old colonial types and their servants.

Devil, you took her on, it was your responsibility to set out her role and your expectations.

She's not a faulty item to be sent back to the supplier.

My advice is kind, gentle explanation to her of what you want. Pay a translator if you have to.

Can you do that, or are you going to make her precarious situation worse by sacking her?

[sued51]

Go back to the agency - I employ a Filipina lady to look after my mother and the agency I used and some Cypriot friends who had previously employed domestic workers insisted I only considered Filipinas as they speak much better English and are generally more suited to working for UK households.
The lady I have is wonderful and her sister is looking for a job in Paphos at the moment - I don’t know her as she is stuck in Manila at the moment waiting to find a position before she can travel here but if you (or anyone else) may be interested in employing her please send me a pm

[WHL]

Ugh, this form of legalised slavery makes me sick. These women from poor countries generally get a raw deal here. They're exploited, over-worked and under-paid. Worst of all, no-one looks for them when they go missing. It's an aspect of life in Cyprus that makes me feel very uncomfortable. It smacks of old colonial types and their servants.

Devil, you took her on, it was your responsibility to set out her role and your expectations.

She's not a faulty item to be sent back to the supplier.

My advice is kind, gentle explanation to her of what you want. Pay a translator if you have to.

Can you do that, or are you going to make her precarious situation worse by sacking her?

You clearly dont have a clue what slavery is, certainly some are over worked, and used by other family members, but the Chinese lady who looks after my next door neighbors elderly mother is treated like one of the family, and as such goes out to every family event, restaurant etc, she often talks to my wife and always has a smile on her face, she has even manged to build a home for her family back home, not a good idea to generalise

[memory man]

Maybe the wages are low, but there are probably
no bills to pay, eg:- RENT, ELECTRIC, WATER, FOOD.

[Yioula]

If she has come via an Agency I would contact them with your concerns......

[Uncle D]

I think that Jeba's idea is the best first option, its easy to translate into any language with google

[Cyprus Sal]

Maybe the wages are low, but there are probably
no bills to pay, eg:- RENT, ELECTRIC, WATER, FOOD.

You mean just like in prison?

[WHL]

Maybe the wages are low, but there are probably
no bills to pay, eg:- RENT, ELECTRIC, WATER, FOOD.

You mean just like in prison?

Dear O dear, scraping the barrel comes to mind,

[memory man]

You mean just like in prison?

How would you know that?

First hand experience maybe!!

[Devil]

Maybe the wages are low, but there are probably
no bills to pay, eg:- RENT, ELECTRIC, WATER, FOOD.

You mean just like in prison?

I think that remark is unworthy of you. I admit that there are probably a few employers who exploit their helpers beyond reasonable but I imagine that the majority of the employees would object, like they have done in some of the Middle East countries.

[Kili01]

We employed filipina domestic helpers while we were living in Hong Kong. A good one is a treasure. When you first employ them, you need to talk to the girl. Find out whether she has worked for a British family before and whether she can cook good English dishes. Hopefully she should have had some previous experience. It's important to give her a daily and weekly programme of what you expect her to do. Washing, cleaning, shopping etc is a start.As long as its reasonable.
If she hasn't cooked British food before, can she read an English recipe?
Try to be patient if her English isn't good, help her to understand it and most will learn.
Nepalese diet is very different to ours, rice, veggies, including pulses. So could anyone help your helper to understand English cooking methods?
Dee

[Paul]

If she is ordering you around in your house then it’s time to take the bull by the horns.

She is bulling you to get her own way and using language barrier to ignore you.

You are her employer and it is in your hands to sort this out

If she is not doing the job YOU want and not doing meals when YOU want then you have one recourse.

SACK HER NOW!!

[josef k]

Dear oh dear. It is such a shame when the knee-jerk reaction is SACK HER!! I am surprised such uncaring and thoughtless people are on this forum.

This girl has come nearly half way round the world in order to provide a better standard of living for her family, education for her children if she has them, and healthcare for her parents where needed. She is in a strange country with its own customs, and is placed with a family with different but equally strange customs.

You can't expect her to cook "British" food. She needs to learn what you want, that you need variety, and that you need set times. That means you need to teach her. If her English is poor, then it is down to you to teach her. You will find she will pick it up very quickly.
As to duties, I assume you were granted permission to have a domestic worker because you are over 75 or have a disability. Therefore her duties will include cleaning and cooking, personal care, toileting, and shopping.
If she seems to have taken command within the house, then this is usually because there is a vacancy. If you don't like it then you must assume command. Remember, your relationship is one of employer and employee, with all the rights and responsibilities that involves. You will have a copy of her employment contract. Please read it as it does contain useful information.
Give the poor girl a chance. A lot of people are relying on her income. She won't suddenly wake up knowing everything you need her to know. New employees need training in order to perform their role. That is your responsibility.


On the wider point, don't assume being a domestic worker in Cyprus is slave labour. That is a view mainly held by those who know little about the situation. Certainly there are bad employers, there are everywhere. Many of the women who come here as domestic workers love it and stay as long as they can. Some have been here for over 15 years and renew their contract every year. This despite the money being better elsewhere (e.g. North Cyprus, Russia, Canada).

How do I know all this? I married one.

[Cyprus Sal]

Josef

What an elegant and compassionate reply, bravo!

I will go and reflect on my over-generalised comment

[71 Trans Am]

Yes very well put Josef and thought provoking

[Dominic]

I went trekking in Nepal. If you've got somebody who can make decent Dahl Baht hold on to them!

Just don't ask for an English Breakfast. The Nepalese version is a real horror story.

And saying "Namaste" is a good way of breaking the ice.