Email to be banned in UK after Brexit:

[memory man]

Email is likely to be banned as a method of communication in the UK once Brexit is completed. A highly secret report from Government psychologists has been handed to me showing the significant and severe effects that email has on the human brain. Indeed, the psychologists believe that the massive confusion in the British Government around Brexit has been caused by the politicians being besieged by emails from their constituents. One of the researchers told me that the MPs’ brains are essentially being “slowly cooked” by the sheer volume of email they are facing and that this is behind their inability to make a decision.
According to the research I have exclusively seen, large volumes of email cause a neurological effect in the front of the brain, just above the eyes. This is known as “Adverse Prefrontal Retrograde Information Lag”. What happens is that information that would normally be sent from the prefrontal cortex is being held up in the brains of people who use email a great deal. This leads to poor decision making, the inability to express emotions and interference in memory. The researchers believe that the psychological effects of email are what lays behind low productivity levels as well as the increase in crime, accident rates, and poverty which have happened in the past decade.
The link is so severe that a special committee has been set up to handle the banning of email, expected before the end of the year. That committee is the “Financial Officials Overseeing Limitations”, and it will be meeting this morning in a secret Whitehall office to finalise its meaningful plans which it will provide to the Prime Minister as a backstop to communications problems it foresees in the future.
The psychologists have told me that the information could not have come at a worse time for British business already under pressure because of Brexit. When that is resolved companies will need to face this further, perhaps more serious issue, the banning of emails.
However, there is one glimmer of hope arising from this ban. It will mean that the “Adverse Prefrontal Retrograde Information Lag” seen in many workers will disappear. That will lead to greater efficiency, higher productivity, more creativity and fewer accidents at work. According to one member of the “Financial Officials Overseeing Limitations” this ban on emails could well be the solution to Brexit because of the massive positive effects it will have on the workplace.
For more information about this issue please click here.

[Devil]

Not a good one; too obvious.

[Varky]

What's today's date?

[Jim B]

..so tiresome.

Brexiters were gullible enough to be taken in by the utterings, claims and promises of those two self-serving charlatans, Johnson and Farage.

It appears they still are.

Jim

[Varky]

Not a good one; too obvious.

Come on, get your head out of your posterior.

[Firefly]

Lloyd

I love the politics section, and there are indeed some good discussions with many having differing opinions, but frankly I feel that you and other poster's continual references to Brexiteers as basically thick and stupid is now becoming tedious, is it not possible for remainers to make reasonable points without insults ?

Jackie

[Devil]

Maybe many Brexiteers are basically thick and stupid just as many remainers are, as well. In both cases, this applies particularly to politicians of both sides and, probably, contributors to these posts, myself included.

[Jimgym]

Maybe so Devil but has discussion sunk to that level on here? It comes across as petty and spiteful to me.

[kingfisher]

...."All the world is queer save thee and me- and even thee is a little queer"...

[Jim B]

To say someone is gullible does not imply they are thick or stupid it suggests they are naive or too trusting; well that's what it states in the dictionary and that's how I've always understood it to mean. We've all had our moments of gullibility, even falling for April Fool pranks or straight bananas as written by Boris of which a sizeable part of the population actually believed (some still do).

Jim

[Firefly]

Jim

Lloyd did state that many Brexiteers would probably believe an April Fool joke, what pray does that imply to you ?

Jackie

[Jim B]

Took me a few lines before I realised Jackie and I like to think I'm not totally stupid.

Jim

[Firefly]

Jim

I do not believe for a moment that you are at all stupid, it's just the singling out of Brexiteers for the slight. The insults directed at us keep coming, it's more like a school playground every day, what a pity.

[Jim B]

Seriously.

I didn't know what date it was, don't worry about things like that any more and don't even bother wearing a watch these days.
Emails are not classed as official correspondence in many companies so I never gave it much thought.

Jim

[Dominic]

It never ceases the amaze me what can cause an argument on this forum. Unnecessary antagonism does the antagonist no favours. This was a joke. People should treat it in that vein and not throw insults about.

[Dominic]

To be frank though, Ronk, the best thing you can no is not respond. If people just ignored the posters they disliked (as opposed to disagreed with), then the forum would be less of a bun fight.

[Firefly]

Dominic

What you say is true, but posters should not deliberately make nasty comments about a certain group of other posters for no reason, other than to cause offence, it is not necessary. Making bullets for others to fire comes to mind.

Apologies to Brian, the thread started off well.

Jackie